A good parenting agreement isn't a feelings document — it's a practical one. The clauses that seem overly detailed now are usually the ones that save you a difficult phone call in eighteen months.
Terminology varies by province and country, but most parenting agreements — sometimes called custody agreements, parenting plans, or parenting orders — cover the same two core questions: where the children spend their time, and who decides what about their lives. In Canada, the 2021 changes to the federal Divorce Act moved away from the older language of 'custody' and 'access' toward 'parenting time' and 'decision-making responsibility,' and courts generally now assess arrangements against the best interests of the child rather than awarding a 'winning' parent. Confirm current terminology with a local family law resource, since it does shift.
An agreement can be a standalone document both parents sign, a schedule attached to a separation agreement, or a consent order filed with the court. Whatever the format, the same building blocks tend to reappear — and missing one is usually what sends people back to negotiate a second time.
The regular schedule is the backbone: which days and nights the children are with each parent in a normal week, and how transitions happen (pickup time, location, who drives). Vague schedules ('flexible, as agreed') read as generous on paper but are frequently where disputes start, because 'as agreed' assumes both parents will keep agreeing.
Holiday and school-break schedules should be written separately from the regular schedule and should explicitly say they override it — otherwise a long weekend or spring break can become an argument about which clause wins. Cover the occasions that matter to your family specifically: winter break, spring break, summer, and any cultural or religious holidays, plus how alternating years work.
A relocation clause addresses what happens if either parent wants to move a meaningful distance. Many agreements set a notice period and a process (discussion, mediation, or court) rather than an outright ban, since an unrealistic restriction is often unenforceable and just creates conflict later.
Decision-making responsibility is usually broken into domains — education, health care, religion, and extracurricular activities — and each can be joint, sole, or split by domain (one parent decides medical, the other decides schooling, for example). Being explicit about which domain is whose, and what happens when the parents disagree within a joint domain, avoids the more common dispute: not who decides, but what happens when they can't agree.
Day-to-day decisions — bedtime, screen time, what's for dinner — are generally left to whichever parent has the child at the time, and agreements often say so explicitly just to prevent second-guessing across households.
A communication clause sets expectations for how parents talk to each other about the children — which channel (text, email, a co-parenting app), expected response times, and what's off-limits (using the children as messengers, discussing adult conflict in front of them). An information-sharing clause covers each parent's right to school records, medical records, and report cards directly from the institution, so access doesn't depend on the other parent forwarding things.
Some agreements also include a right-of-first-refusal clause: if a parent needs childcare for a significant block of time during their parenting time, the other parent gets the first opportunity before a babysitter or relative is called.
A dispute resolution clause names the process for disagreements before anyone goes to court — commonly mediation or a parenting coordinator — which most courts view favourably as evidence of good-faith effort. A review clause sets when the agreement gets revisited, since a schedule built for a five-year-old rarely still fits a fifteen-year-old; many families default to reviewing at major transitions like starting school.
None of these clauses do much good if they're scattered across email threads and half-remembered phone calls. The agreements that hold up are the ones where both sides can point to exactly what was proposed, what was agreed, and when — which is as much a record-keeping problem as a drafting one.
It's not always required, but courts generally recommend independent legal advice for each parent before signing, especially if the agreement will be filed as a consent order. A lawyer can also flag terms that are unclear or unenforceable in your jurisdiction.
They cover similar ground, but many jurisdictions — including Canada federally since 2021 — have moved to 'parenting time' and 'decision-making responsibility' to focus on the child's needs rather than parental rights. Check which terminology your local courts currently use.
Generally yes, either by mutual written agreement or by court application if one parent won't consent. Building a review point into the original agreement makes updating it far less adversarial than renegotiating from scratch.
SortMyDivorce reads the letters going back and forth about parenting time and decision-making, and turns them into one organized record — every proposal, every quote, every deadline. A guided parenting-agreement template is coming soon to help you turn that record into a draft. $39/year.
This guide is general information, not legal advice. Laws change and differ by jurisdiction — confirm specifics with a local family lawyer or your court's official website. If you use SortMyDivorce, your letters stay confidential — never shared, never sold.